What a fucking waste of an outfit
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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