I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
