Is it normal to miss your booty call?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
