new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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