we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
