Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
