So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
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