a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
