he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i came on her dog
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
