Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Randomize
