I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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