it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize