Jerry, you need to find god
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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