Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm at about main and main street
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
