do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
