How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
