Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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