I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
