I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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