i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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