If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
