Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
