apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
