What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
