I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
