You're my little dorito
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
