Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
