i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
