So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
