In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
