It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
