My nipple is on Facebook.
my phone needs a breathalizer
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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