Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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