Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize