MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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