i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
