They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
