Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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