Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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