He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
