Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
