If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I want her autograph on my taint
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
