just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
