She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
