Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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