ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
