Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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