he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize