your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize