you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize