Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
