You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
