i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
