why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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