Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
