We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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