So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
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