He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
