their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
