Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
