It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
